One is not expected to speak of one's numbness when the one is numb.
Resisting the "about to come" leads to irregularity. Irregularity seems to be the perfect orderly manner of evolving, and through evolution (of the mind), revolting. Strange days accompany these irregularities and commons cease to exist, or rather elevate their existance into rebellious specials. The order of the commons becomes the disorder of the specials and the "about to come" becomes the "about to change". Change is always good....NOT. Change is different, conceptually, theoritically, spiritually.How about really? Is it not the case that once the specials supress the "icons of tradition" and anhilate the bonds of static, retreat into their roots of commonness, or even choose to hand over their infant legacy to newly founded orders of caretakers...? Caretakers who were never "specialised"... And then the "what has changed" becomes the norm.
As silent by-standers, or even participants of this realm of "norm" identifies us as normal? If so why is this normality so indifferent to me? Why do I consider the so-called revolution that enthroned the norm, as something I needn't consider at all. Is it possible that for at least one single moment in history all the participants of this so-called revolution shared a common thought? or were in the same mind frame? If so, was it by their own, personal and rightfull choice or were they simply puppeteered into adopting as their own, this made-beleive common cause for the "greater good"? By who? And how is one man's thought, his own personal solution of a common(governed by the strict rules of personal experience- and identified univesally by a common denomenator- of negligible importance sometimes) problem , suddenly rocketeered into the stratosphere, becoming a bright star of sublime leadership, becoming an essential element of life, becoming the breath that powers the cancer infested lungs of the mass? Just like that. Random events of life all of a sudden become pre-planned injustices, with publically recognised instigators of these injustices. Misfortune becomes the spear that will be driven into the heart of the norm. And always, there is One. One that will masterfully lead (or mislead) the newly formed mass of momentarily )and this moment can be very long) blind beleivers into the "promise land". Nobody stops to think back. Nobody realises the obvious. Even God himself could not deliver the promise land. Why have i wasted all this energy on something indifferent to me? Di i need to prove to myself the rightousness of my beleif?
I am becoming unstable. My numbness is not universal and this troubles me. The brain keeps ordering the numb body, or the body is vibrant and awaiting the orders of the numb mind. Which is worse. I am becoming unstable. Irregular. I had goat last night, roasted baby goat (it was dead so apparently numb too) and pan-fried zucchini. It was delicious. My taste buds are not numb. The rest of me is. Irregular numbness.
Irregularity leads to chaos... systems whose states evolve with time – that may exhibit dynamics that are highly sensitive to initial conditions (popularly referred to as the butterfly effect). As a result of this sensitivity, which manifests itself as an exponential growth of perturbations in the initial conditions, the behavior of chaotic systems appears to be random. This happens even though these systems are deterministic, meaning that their future dynamics are fully defined by their initial conditions with no random elements involved. This behavior is known as deterministic chaos (wikipedia).
So ( (((Non Numbness - Numbness) *Roasted Baby Goat)/ fried zucchini) + 1 Amstel) - this morning's excrement + 1 liter of urine) = Chaos
Chaos = apparently random behaviour (with all the sauce added)
Apparently random behaviour= apparent irregularity
Apparent irregulaty= Apparently Me.
I need to see a doctor...i Think..