inapplicable, sort of poetic but then again...not

It's quite miserably entertaining to acknowledge the misfortune of being one self.  It allows you to point your finger and utter the almighty "i told you so mother fucker.....i told you so....". And rest at peace..the mirror won't answer back. I guess each death that sort of brings your number closer to its being called by the grim reaper makes you think ..of the unthinkable....of LIFE.... Die at the right time says Yalom and I add....Live at all times...  How is it possible to fear of what you will never encounter while you are alive... and simultaneously be afraid of what accompanies you throughout your breathing times? Isn't it miserable to be afraid of death and life at the same time.?.. those who claim to seek death as a way out-how do they know? how do those fuckers know what they will happen once they become dearly departed? Is it a personal Lois and Clarke syndrome of exploration? How can  you explore when you are dead? Have you explored while alive? Have you answered to the calls to the deity inside you? Have you read the scriptures on the inside of your eyelids? Did you translate the incoherent voices of your subconscious and have you removed the filter between your rational and your vocal chords? Isn't it entertaining, to examine the web that is you.....and for the very first time realize its vastness? For the very first time get lost knowingly in the intertwining elements of the constitution of the creation that is reading these lines at this very moment? And just about now, have you realized what a miserable process you've been so far.?... and furthermore what a miserable concept you are thriving to become?
 
Death has happened and will not happen again...nobody dies twice... what one needs to fear is the resurrection... will you resurrect to live or will you resurrect to have another apparent death again, and again, and again and again.....the important thing is to maintain a good mental credit...and be able to pay throughout your decimation of your rational....otherwise... the switch will flip....and the debt will mount and then....you will never be able to die and escape your death....