My presence- ubiquitous. Eternal damnation of inedequacy and absence. It doesn't get any better as I age - that's wine- not me. Hard-burned is a pretermined path of identity. It cannot be tampered with. It's just a nuisance of a life, and I won the lotto. Glimpses of supremacy above and beyond of what is below and at bay don't seem to flatter my melancholy anymore. Retreating into my archetypal mould in hopes of a re-death seems like a utopian malice against the idiocratic regime that governs.Or is it just a fleeting misconception? I ruled out any possibility of rectification. Attonement is such a distant process. Yet, there is this one fading memory... of a man... that used to know- something. I can't quite grasp the materialization of the "something" but it has engraved a spark. A liquid spark which is solely responsible for the minature flame that still burns in my eyes... it should have expired by now, but it chooses to defy me and hang on... i have no knowledge of what fuels it to this day and I will propably perish without ever finding out... and yet i used to know, i am sure of that, i used to know where to get the fuel and it was in abundance... remember? Do u remember my old love? Forever- remember? I don't....
Is this catharsis? Or is this purgatory. This is fuckin' nothing. Important and big meaningless words of nothingness. What is catharsis? Who has willingly stepped out of numbness into a shower of acidic detergent- ALIVE? The following zero. Self-infliction has never adhered it self to positiveness and has never been part of any solution. A choice to be made is a choice not made yet... so there's still time. There's still time to enjoy the cream of the crop and lay back. And I wait...for she will come, in her morning glory and accompanied by a fresh scent of decay... I welcome her. It's the only way out of this shitplace. I welcome her and embrace her decadence as if it were my own. Look, watch, see, hear, listen and now..... go fuck yourself.... We are done..
If you can hear me... Yes you out there... If you can hear me.... There can only be one of you..... If you can hear me....." Open your heart.... I am coming home" alone..
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